Herein lies the conundrum...

Having a blog creates a unique dilemma in my life...there are so many things I wish I could talk about on here...so many topics that just burn brightly within me...but yet my fingers hover over the keys in fear. Fear of others reading it and knowing I am writing about them, fear of offending people that I love, fear of putting it to a page that can exist forever digitally...and thus come back to haunt me (much like that dang red pepper that was on my salad for lunch today...it's practically a poltergeist in my mouth). Blogs can serve numerous purposes...update family and friends on your life, create a depository for pictures, debate topics of interest, and create a forum for sounding off on various things.

This week I have had TWO topics I have so desperately wanted to blog about. I log into my Blogger Dashboard with my fingers just itching to be released onto my keyboard. But I just can't do it. The fear stops me. I almost feel like I need to create an underground blog...a covert one under a nom de plume with code names and riddles...just so I can write about things without fear.

BUT then who would be reading it?

I hate conundrums.

Just for fun...stories about Perry!

This morning I was on my way to work just listening to a little Janet Jackson Rhythm Nation 1814 (Escapade...to be precise) and just mulling a few things over in my head. I began to think of Perry and the thoughts made me smile. I realize that some people may think I talk about Perry quite a bit...but he is the other half of my team, so it is inevitable that I think of/speak of him often. As I was saying, I was bopping along on Hwy 54 and different little stories started flitting around...so I thought I would put a couple out here...

Batteries & Perry

Okay, when something in our house has a battery that goes dead...Perry doesn't go out and buy new batteries...he borrows batteries from other items. Let me give you a few examples:

The batteries in the TV remote were dead and he went and took the batteries out of his hair clippers to replace them. Then when he needed his hair clippers, he swapped them back...and then swapped them back again when he needed the remote.

We have this large over-sized orange clock that is on the vanity in our bathroom. Well, the battery had died in it and it was stuck on 7:15 for many months, then one day I came home and it was suddenly working (he did tell me he put a battery in it...but I didn't ask where he got it from)...I was very happy to have the clock working in the bathroom again (you know...to keep me on track when getting ready for work), when one day I came home from work and I saw that the clock was sitting on our kitchen table. Not working. Well, his garage door opener hadn't worked in a like a YEAR and he finally replaced the battery...with the battery from our bathroom clock.

Now, I was telling these stories at work the other day and a guy I work with was laughing and said, "Well, at least he didn't take the battery out of the smoke detector." Which leads me to my last story...the battery in one of Perry's fishing gadgets died...so he replaced it with our smoke detector battery. Yesiree...he did.

Victoria Secret, Twilight, & Perry (Now this one I have blogged about before on my MySpace blog...so I cheated and copied it here. Sue me.)

Before Christmas, Perry and I had driven up to Mosinee to take my mom out for dinner and to do some shopping in Wausau. We went to the mall after dinner and we had to go to Victoria's Secret so my mom could get some gifts for my sister's birthday the following week. While we were there, Perry and I were playing with all the samples they have (which have stickers that say "Play with Me"...so, duh, we were just following directions), so mostly he was spraying me with stuff, dusting me with powders, basically trying to be annoying. Well, they have this new fragrance which is called Oooh La La. You can get all these items with this fragrance...one of which is the center of my story here.

This fragrance has a bottle with powder and all these pink feathers on top. You are supposed to dust yourself with the feathers and the powder will come out (I am sure you all have seen these types of bottles before). Well this was really fancy with a huge plume of feathers, so to be silly I really powdered myself up with it...and Perry burst out laughing...it wasn't just powder...it was full-on sparkly, extremely fine, body glitter and I had just covered my entire face in a layer of it. (By the way...this Oooh La La bottle is $29.50...I probably covered myself in $5.00 worth of the stuff.)

Perry could NOT stop laughing...and I couldn't get the stuff off my face, I tried rubbing it off my face...it just covered my hands and I couldn't wipe it on my black coat...so I had to spend the rest of the night shopping looking like I took a face plant in a tub of glitter. (And don't get me wrong I LOVE glitter...but this was extreme!) I ended up seeing a co-worker at another store afterwards and she said, "Wow, you really have a lot of that on."

But do you want to know the really funny part?

Perry and I took my mom to see the Twilight movie over Thanksgiving...so the first thing he says to me after I got the glitter all over me is:

"You look like a vampire in the sun."

Hair & Perry

Since I have been dating Perry...which is going on six and a half years this February...he has never been one to go and get his his hair cut professionally. He hates Fantastic Sam's or Cost Cutters because they buzz his hair and he feels like he looks like a 12 year old. I've repeatedly offered to take him to my wonderful hairdresser (Jenny Bembeneck...Platinum Salon...Stevens Point) but he has always found some reason (ahem..excuse) not to go. In the meantime, the guy has been hacking at his poor hair giving it all sorts of different lengths and shapes...that usually require the use of a hat for cover up. I have even seen him put highlights in his own hair with one of those highlight caps (Now THAT is something I wish I had taken a picture of.) He usually ends up with a rat tail in back and some funky looking bangs...and usually his mop of hair...is still a mop...albeit an unevenly trimmed mop.

Now people make the comment, "Well, why don't you just cut it for him?" If you know me at all...you know I am severely hair challenged. I can barely use a curling iron. I don't even dare to cut my own hair. Dying it myself would scare me. And styling consists of down, ponytail, or sides and top pulled into a clip. I have had the same bottle of hairspray for 5 years...and he has used it more than me. BUT one day years ago...we were on our way up to our friends' housewarming party in Dunbar, WI...and we stayed in a hotel in Rhinelander, WI. Perry kept telling me he needed his hair cut and kept hounding me to do it. I protested like the dickens and he finally wore me down. So we went out on the little balcony at our hotel and I gave haircutting and hair clipping a shot. "Follow the hairline Kristen...just follow the hairline. It's so easy to do Kristen." Yeah. Right. He looked so hideous when I was done and he was SO unhappy with my lack of skillz...that we had to drive around Rhinelander looking for a hair place to fix it...but the great part is that he has never asked me to touch his hair again.

Well, Perry is currently taking classes at NorthCentral Technical College and before he started classes he expressed the need for a "real" haircut so that he could take his hat off in class. So I bought him a gift certificate for my hairdresser for Christmas. On Monday of this week, he finally redeemed his gift certificate...and let me tell you...he looks hot. Jenny did such a wonderful job at having him look through men's hairstyle books, talk with him about what he wanted, demonstrated how to style his hair once it was cut...and he walked away so happy...and so handsome. I can't believe how good he looks. But we did get a great laugh in when she wetted his hair down and we saw the hundreds of different lengths his hair was...such a riot! (And of course...my camera was dead so I got no before and after pics...damn.)

Crossword Puzzle & Perry

Now I am going to start laughing so hard when I write about this one because when it happened, I was laughing so hard I was crying. For an hour. For New Year's this year we traveled to Sheboygan Falls, WI to spend the holiday with close friends of ours. On the way there, I had to stop at the Dollar Tree in Oshkosh, WI to get glow bracelets for the festivities (Read the glitter and glow blog if you don't understand). We also happened to find a crossword puzzle book while we were there...so while I drove, Perry read clues to me and we filled it in together.

One particular clue said something along the lines of "Night time bird"...three letters across. I told him, "Owl."

And he gave me a strange, sideways look and replied, "Really? I was thinking bat."

I started laughing and I said, "A bat isn't a bird. It's a mammal."

To which he replied, "Well it has f**kin' wings, it can f**kin' fly, so it's a bird."

I'm telling you I laughed all the way from Fond Du Lac to Sheboygan Falls...and he couldn't stop laughing either.

You know, one day he will get me back for all the stories I tell about him...but I'm not worried. At least not until he has internet access or a phone...or talks to other humans other than me!

Birthdays, a Power Outage, and a 50 cent a song JukeBox

Save the Date People! That's right...the big event will be happening in March! Perry will be turning 30 on Friday, March 27th and I am throwing him a party to celebrate! And you all thought we were getting married or something...weirdos. Since it is already half way through January, I thought it wouldn't hurt to through this event out there so you can get a heads up. We will be celebrating Perry's-Good-Bye-to-his-20s at the Hitchin' Rail Bar in beautiful downtown Arnott, Wisconsin. (You can laugh at those last four words...I know I did the first time I read them...on the drink chip from the Hitchin' Rail...because there is only one road that goes through Arnott...it's sort of how I grin each time I see the sign for Mullins Cheese...in downtown Knowlton. HA!)

We will have a DJ/Music, a chicken wing bar, appetizers galore...and beer. Of course. There is only one tapper at the Hitchin' Rail, so I am going to let the birthday boy choose. It will probably be Miller Lite or Point Pale Ale. I haven't decided on a theme for this event yet...but my wheels are turning. He does know about this party, so you can feel free to discuss it with him if you like...I'm just not going to tell him about the theme (well, once I think of it).

Other than that announcement, things have been good. In case you don't live in Wisconsin and read this...we are just emerging from an arctic deep freeze last week. Which cancelled Perry's first class at Northcentral Technical College...he was so funny, he said, "I've waited 10 years to go back to school and then they cancel it. They are making it difficult for me." But he did get to go to his class on Saturday morning, so at least he does have his first biology class out of the way (And a hilarious story of introductions with the "Oh my God Girls!").

I mention the weather for two reasons (the above mentioned cancelled class) and our evening without power. Last Thursday, during -45 wind chill temps, our power went out around 7:45PM. Now two nights before that we had a power surge that killed our power, but that lasted less than a minute (and fried our microwave...and if you know us at all, it will probably be weeks before we get a new one...kind of like our burnt out lightbulb in our fridge...it's been burnt out for almost two months...still haven't changed it.) We didn't freak out, we had places to go if it got too cold, but I just couldn't believe we would lose power on one of the coldest nights of winter so far. (They were replacing a power line pole in case you were wondering what caused it. We think someone hit the pole two nights prior and that caused the surge and they had to fix it). We layered up, I grabbed my flashlight, and I read a book for most of the night. Perry watched Napoleon Dynamite on his PSP...then finally we cuddled up and went to sleep. The power came back on around 12:30AM (scared the beejeezus out of me...we had had the TV on)...and all was right in our little world once again. But we did worry for awhile when we weren't sure when it would come back on. We did NOT want our pipes freezing...well, no one does...but we just didn't want to deal with fixing that. So after almost five hours of no heat, no light...we were back in business...and, yes, us two frugal people cranked the heat up to 68 to warm the house back up. But it went back down to 64 the next morning.

We also celebrated two dear friends of ours birthdays...Miss Cernak-o-witz-in-Training had her birthday on Jan. 14th and Miss Da had hers on Jan. 18th. We had wine, sang to the Mamma Mia! Sing-A-Long version, ate delicious sushi at Matsu Ya's (Check them out at http://www.matsuysushi.net/), hit up Partner's Pub (where I had a disgruntled moment...their jukebox now charges 50 cents a song! Are you kidding me? 50 cents!...but don't worry, I am fully gruntled now...I got over it once we went to Cedar Haus and I monopolized the jukebox with Lady GaGa and New Kids on the Block). And we were smart cookies and got a cab ride home, but not before we ordered Toppers Breadsticks and pizza to the bar and I had an in depth conversation with a kid in dreadlocks. It truly was a memorable weekend!

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr Day Everyone! And enjoy the Inauguration tomorrow...unless you have to work like I do and will only get to see the highlights.

Blech.

I am a relatively positive person. I hold most of my anger, disappointment, and unhappiness inside (or deal with it in a healthy nature), but unfortunately...it sometimes gets channeled towards those that mean the most to me. (Why is it that we take out our crappy attitudes on those who have nothing to do with it....okay, well USUALLY have nothing to do with it?) But sometimes, you just have to acknowledge when your day sucks. And today is one of those days. I feel like wallowing in it. In fact, my co-worker in the next cube and I have decided to have a pity party of two today. At least I have company.

Here's my laundry list of complaints:
It's frigid out.
My car sat out in a parking lot last night and my doors were frozen shut.
I had to wait until I was almost at work before I could really scrape all the ice off and the heater started to heat the car.
My hair reeks because I did not have time to wash it...so I don't feel professional looking today at my job.
I'm tired because I was worrying too much last night and I woke up early to go retrieve my frozen car.
I hate the "special project" I am currently doing at work.
I am ready to pop the next person who asks, "Is it cold enough for ya, eh?" (Seriously...WHY do people ask that? It is -7 with a wind chill of -25...It. IS. COLD. ENOUGH. PEOPLE. Do you want to move to Antarctica? Please do so, that way I won't hear your inane question of, Is it COLD enough for ya, eh!?!)
I'm hungry and don't want the lunch I brought.
iTunes charged me twice for the same album and I cannot figure out who to call or e-mail to get it straightened out.
...okay, I'll stop being a whiner now.

So now, I will be positive...to at least try and balance out my negativity a bit....I can still have a crappy day, but I do need to remind myself that I am blessed with many great things. Here's a good start:
I have an awesome sister who is also my best friend.
I have a roof over my head.
I, at least, have a car that works that I can complain about.
I have a working shower with hot water that I can wash my reeking hair in when I get home tonight.
I can always go to bed early so I won't be tired tomorrow.
My parents rock.
I have some absolutely wonderful friends and family.
My little dog, Maggie, adores me.
I have a job.
AND I have an iPod to use when those people who ask about the cold get to be too much.

There. I do feel better. That tactic can work. Now I just need to chant those positive things like a mantra today.

And of course, I can always fall back on my inner Scarlet O'Hara...because "after all, tomorrow is another day!"

My two week vacation...this post is late...I sort of locked myself out of my blog!

My last post was a frivolous post regarding glitter and glow bracelets...it was fun to write and didn't really tax my brain or that of the small amount of people who may be reading this blog. But I think I will write about what I have been up to lately instead of diving into the topic of sequins.

I have recently returned to the office after a glorious two week vacation. You would think with the use of the word glorious that I spent two weeks in Italy sipping wine or lying on a beach in the Pacific. Nope, my lovely and glorious vacation occurred right in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin...particularly on Standing Rocks Road. If you feel up to it (and have time to kill, waste, or are just terribly interested in my life), please feel free to read on for a day by day account of my vacation.

Friday, December 19th....vacation began! At 4:30PM that day, I shut off my computer and walked out the doors of the office with the biggest smile on my face and a spring in my step that would make one think I had just finished canoodling with my bun. Perry (my bun for those of you who don't know) and I spent my first evening of vacation....grocery shopping! I know, sounds fantastic doesn't it?! We had his family Christmas scheduled at the family farm for the 20th, so his dad provided a blank check for Jenny (Perry's sister-in-law) and I to buy all the food for the feast. It was quite the excursion to store with Perry, Jenny, myself, and two kids in tow...but over a $100 later...we had all we needed for Christmas At the Farm (including yummy, bubbly champagne!).

Saturday, December 20th...Christmas At the Farm! We spent most of our morning wrapping presents and baking cranberry apple pies. We then headed down the road to the farm (literally down the road people...we can see it from our backyard) and started the Biadasz Family Festivities for Christmas. Perry baked the ham, I had made the pies, Jenny made the scalloped potatoes and ham, and we had steamed asparagus with hollandaise sauce...yum freakin' o! And of course, my champagne glass was never empty. We decided that this year, the theme at the Biadasz Family Christmas was Info-mercial. I received THE Jack LaLanne Power Juicer, Jenny got a Nu-Wave Oven, and Brian and Perry both received an Oil-less, Infrared Turkey Cooker...all items from his dad who watches a LOT of Info-mercials. I will tell you one thing...that juicer kicks butt...we've used it constantly since we got it. Carrot Apple Ginger Juice is my favorite...but I would not suggest a lot of the vegetable juices...they taste like dirt. Even if you wash the veggies.

Sunday, December 21st...was clean-up-the-sty-that-is-our-house day. Our house was a mess from Christmas preparations...so we spent a good part of this frigid morning cleaning. Then we packed it up and headed to Mosinee to celebrate my dad's 61st birthday. Technically his birthday is December 22nd, but the Sunday worked out better for us all. Once in Mosinee, we jumped in the min-van 'o fun and went to The World Buffet in Marshfield. One thing you need to know about my father...he LOVES buffets...absolutely loves them. In fact, he has even developed buffet eating strategies/rules. After we rolled out of the buffet (and yes, I requested the senior discount for my dad...it got us a whole dollar off his meal), we headed back to Mosinee for some earthquake cake. My sister made this cake for my dad and it cracked down the center...so I named it earthquake cake...the only thing that would have made it any better was if we had little cars or animals to put in the crack to make it look like they perished in the quake.

Monday, December 22nd...I slept in! No parties or buffets to speak of! Perry and I lounged around until I had to meet my mom for some Christmas shopping in Point. And then when I got home, Perry made the most delicious steaks on the grill and we watched the Packer game (Okay, okay...I fell into a meat-induced coma...you would not believe how ginormous those t-bones were!). I drifted off in my meat induced stupor and enjoyed just being in my pa-jammies on the couch with no care in the world.

Tuesday, December 23rd...we baby-sat Kolton, Perry's godson. We headed over to Brian & Jenny's to baby-sit to make it easier on the little guy. Perry and Kolton shared some Jimmy Dean breakfast croissants and we watched TLC. Sometimes I really wish we had cable or a satellite dish and then I remember the cost and the mind sucking it does and forget about it. After we finished baby-sitting, I headed up to Mosinee to help my mom wrap gifts, finish shopping, and generally just help out my one-armed mother get ready for Christmas.

Wednesday, December 24th...Christmas Eve! This was the first year we did not celebrate Christmas Eve with my parents. The Stencil Family Christmas got moved to Christmas Day, so Perry and I spent our first Christmas Eve at home. It snowed like crazy! And lovely and intelligent us went out to finish shopping. (Let me note: I did not need to finish shopping but he who has been named previously was being his last minute self.) I can't complain, it was an adventure and we did need food for Christmas Eve dinner...which ended up having Baked Crab Rangoon with homemade Sweet and Sour Sauce, Chicken and Veggie Egg rolls, and fried rice. So Merry Oriental Christmas Eve to us. We then opened up gifts for each other...it was so nice

Thursday, December 25th...Christmas Day at the Stencils! We spent almost the entire day of Christmas at Dan & Darlene's up in Mosinee. The day started off splendidly with Brian (my brother-in-law)'s dog Gage lifting his leg on the Christmas tree and presents. Yup, our presents were urinated upon...we all washed our hands after opening gifts that day. Otherwise the day was very relaxed and filled with food, presents, movies, and just joy at being with family. I had all my family in fun hats, antlers, or other such holiday headgear. I can't wait to post pictures, but I am still figuring out my new camera (thank you Perry!). The day went too fast, but it made me so happy.

Friday, December 26th...was our first cross country ski trip down the road. We live by a beautiful and well maintained county park...aptly named Standing Rocks County Park. It has about 10 miles of cross country skiing (which is mountain biking in the summer), a downhill ski area, public hunting land, a fenced in, off leash dog area, and (our favorite) a disc golf course. I have had cross country skis for awhile, but Perry didn't, so he purchased some that day and we had an interesting time at the park. Let's just say Perry ate snow a few times, I laughed, and then I got a face wash as well. I was a bit wobbly, but man was he hilarious! He hadn't been on cross country skis since high school.

Saturday, December 27th...more cross country skiing. Perry was much better this time around and I managed to keep myself off the ground as well. We had better trails this time around...and it was such a blast. My parents trekked it all the way from Mosinee to do a tour of the Gollon and Biadasz/Stencil Christmas trees...otherwise...another glorious pa-jammy filled day of vacation.

Sunday, December 28th...we cooked a turkey via infrared technology. Perry got an oil-less infrared turkey cooker for Christmas from Dominic (his dad) and we thought we'd give the sucker a shot. So we invited his dad over for a cook-out and watched the Packer game. (Okay...I drank Sierra Mist Cranberry Splash with Vodka and they really watched the game...but who really cares....I was safely at home in my pa-jammies!). The turkey was excellent! So delicious and wonderful, I couldn't believe how great it was. After his dad left...we lounged around, he went hunting...and I believe I passed out/fell asleep quite early due to the aforementioned drinks I imbibed.

Monday, December 29th...we took the long route cross country skiing...and I fell so many times! We decided to take a longer more intermediate route this time since we were both getting our ski-legs pretty well. Not a good idea for me. The wind was fierce, but the hills are what killed me...due to the fierce wind I mentioned. I couldn't open my eyes going down the hills on the trail...and ended up in the trees a lot. Perry was just wishing for a camera at that point. We got home and I found that I had snow still in my pants from taking so many snow diggers...isn't that stuff supposed to melt at some point!?!

Tuesday, December 30th...more skiing, yet less falling this time around. It was very frigid and I lost all feeling in my hands and feet. Ever since I worked in an ice plant in high school and worked without gloves bagging ice, I have had a problem with my hands and feet. They turn white and purple in a matter of minutes. The first loop we did was physically painful for me, but Perry decided to be chivalrous and give up his gloves for me so my hand-sicles could thaw out enough for us to keep skiing. What a nice guy. Love the bun. That night I headed up to Mosinee to hang out with my mom and just relax. It was a nice afternoon/evening...and man did it snow! It was such pretty, big, flaky snow...so beautiful...and so fun to drive in (sarcasm...can you hear it?). And Perry shot a big doe bowhunting! By the time I got home from Mosinee, he was half in the bag and listening to the 90s on 9 on his Sirius/XM radio in his garage. He was quite entertaining to watch...or listen to...either one was very funny. He always waxes philosophical when he drinks.

Wednesday, December 31st...we packed up and headed down/over to Sheboygan Falls for some New Years fun with Luke, Allison, Amanda, Trevor, and Betsy (who was there for one night only..all the way from the great state of Oregon). Now, I have never actually seen a live lobster cooked until it's shell turns red...and I still haven't, but I listened pretty hard from the other room when they were getting their final bath and not a peep from those doomed creatures. But dang it, that lobster was tasty...all 2 and 1/2 pounds of it...and I managed to set my napkin on fire...but over all...the wine, the appetizers, the champagne, the lobsters, the great company, the dance party in the kitchen...all made New Year's Eve 2008 completely wonderful.

Thursday, January 1st...I woke up and immediately got a cold washcloth for my head. Three bottles of cabernet sauvignon, three bottles of Ballatore, and one large bottle of Cooks (not to mention one rogue beer and a shot...and NO I did not drink all of that my self!)...I needed that washcloth and some ibuprofen...and something to keep Perry and Luke from snoring! I slept with a pillow on my head most of the night to try and drown out the chorus...which did not help my head at all. Needless to say that National Hangover Day was still pretty fun. We were all lazy bums...stayed in pa-jammies, watched marathons of Ice Road Truckers and Bones...and then we whipped out the Newlywed Game...all I can say is HILARIOUS...and only play it around trusted friends with a Four Wall Rule in place.

Friday, January 2nd...another television marathon but this time it was Say Yes to the Dress and What Not to Wear. Perry and Luke both seemed engrossed by this. We did have to say goodbye to Amanda and Trevor, but we stayed on more night. We had the chance to visit the John Michael Kohler Arts Center for their new exhibit...stop at a great cafe on Lake Michigan...I call it the Weather Channel...but it's real name is the Weather Center...and had a delicious and WARM Latte Cooper (named after the famous Lottie Cooper shipwreck on display at the marina.) And then we watched three movies...and let me tell you StepBrothers was such a waste of time, I mourn the minutes of life that I was robbed of. I do recommend the others we watched...King of California and Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.

Saturday, January 3rd...we headed home. Our dogs were missing us and we needed to head back. I was very sad to leave Luke and Allison's...it was like leaving a warm, happy cocoon. The rest of our day was lazy and we switched to pa-jammies very quickly once we got home....nothing like another lounging, lazy day.

Sunday, January 4th...my last day of vacation. I had been asking Perry to NOT remind me of my vacation coming to a close...but it was inevitable. So he made a great suggestion to go out and have a few drinks. So that's what we did. We started at Rusty's for a fabulous Bloody Mary (and some egg smelling beer...no joke...my beer smelled like Mosinee), then onto Kim's Barrel Inn, and finally to Cedar Haus Inn to visit my uber faboo sister, Angela. And then the rest was slightly downhill...I do know I lost a pool game, so I owe Perry...but then I won one and he owes me. We also decided to have one last pig out before we started our Biggest Loser Competition...so we headed to the latest feeding trough...the KFC Buffet in Plover. Not impressed, nope...and I felt like a bloated carp once again. Once we got home, Perry fell asleep immediately and I took pictures. Hey, I'm a nice girlfriend...and nothing says nice like taking a pic of your boyfriend who is completely dressed for the outdoors, with shoes on, asleep on the loveseat. Priceless.

If you made it this far. Congrats. You have lost minutes of your life you can never gain back. But I appreciate your attentiveness.